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235 Minus 55 Equals 180

Last June, I agreed to start on a diet when my internist accused me of risking diabetes with excessive weight of 235 pounds at my advanced age. I wrote about my start in the Chronicle for the November 2010 issue. Now, in June 2011, I am writing about my finish—minus 55 pounds from my plump beginning 10 months ago.

The dietary drill that I was told to follow was a matter of zero carbohydrate eating. That concept is expressed by hundreds of different apostles for pinched tummies. The avoidance of carbohydrates would control the weight loss process. I was handed a list of the verboten foods. No bread, crackers, cakes, cookies, potatoes, beans, squash, fresh fruit, nuts, cheese, fried foods, pasta, candy, soups, fish, beer and wine and whiskey, and even sodas with natural or artificial sweetness. What was left? Salads, green vegetables (particularly broccoli) and a small piece of lean meat once a day.

Instead, I was to purchase packages of zero-carb foods, specially prepared for pudgy persons with a firm commitment. Most of them were little packages of powder, of soups, cereals, vegetables, flavored beverages, and even puddings. The range was broad enough so that I could avoid my allergies and still consume zero carbs. Put the powder into a large cup of water, stir vigorously and consume at least four packages of the special stuff daily. Drink lots of water. Write down everything eaten and drunk.

So I started. “What about the glasses of red wine you prescribed for me?” I asked the internist. “Give it up while you are on this diet,” he replied. “I did it when I tried this diet.”

So we bought several large sacks of the zero-carb powders and took them home. My wife decided to go along with me on this diet. Two weeks later, she switched to a different scheme, called “weight watchers” and I stayed with the zero-carb pattern. We both melted down a pound or two weekly, as predicted.

What happened was what was supposed to happen. Lots of water, lots of urinary visits to the toilet. Fewer other visits without a chronic laxative.

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