Welcome to the geriatric cruise. I wrote this while we were on it.
This is not a biased criticism. Diana and I are both qualified to the median age of the 600 passengers from around the world who booked 15- to 45-day cruises on a sophisticated ship that has almost slogged its way across the northern Atlantic Ocean. Two weeks ago, we boarded in Fort Lauderdale, FL, and tomorrow we disembark in Reykjavik, Iceland. About half of us will be jumping ship to fly back to North America. As of this few hours before our departure, the Icelandic volcano is behaving mildly and we now hope to go home on the first try (and we made it).
Our shipmates are couples who all claim to make frequent cruises, mostly with this same small but elite company that navigates three cruise ships. When we boarded and looked around, there were a dozen mechanical wheelchairs occupied by men, perhaps 50 canes in constant use, discreet hearing aids tucked in many ears, and, for some of us, absent bifocals resulting from successful cataract removal. Two thirds are fat and a third skinny. If we watch the eating, the skinny ones gobble up as much as the fat ones. Will that make any change after 45 days? Drinks are free. Wine and beer at tables, cocktails at receptions, and bad champagne for every other ceremony—even at breakfast.
The two of us usually eat together. When the dining room is crowded, we get another couple. “Where are you from?” the conversation begins. “Sydney, Australia,” she responds. “We visited Sydney,” Diana responds. “But we have more friends in Melbourne.” “What do you do?” he asks. “He writes medical history books,” Diana answers. At the end of the meal, we part company, never having asked for a last name.
The 600 passengers are tended by 450 crew members from 44 countries. Most of the food servers and chambermaids come from the Philippines. The navigating team members are mostly European. The biggest small cluster of US citizens is the entertainers, the ship’s band, singers, dancers, and lecturers on obscure topics. Two somewhat husky, elderly men are tasked with looking after and dancing with the solitary female passengers.
The passengers come from the United States, Britain, Australia, and fewer than 4l other countries. Some of them flew most of the way around the world to start and some will stay aboard until the ship takes them home. Some have already been at sea a couple of months and some have booked space for two or three more cruise lengths before the end of the calendar year.
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