About once a day, our telephone rings and someone asks us to give money to something. Sometimes it is an organization we know about. Often it is one we have never heard of. The callers include our universities, our children’s universities, the local volunteer firemen and police, churches we do not know, welfare for foreign tribes, and others I cannot remember.
The first clue is that the caller addresses me by my first name and mispronounces it. Then I am asked how I feel. I do not answer. Or I say, “What is your name?” The response, “I am calling about the fund for bowlegged orphans.” “Who are you?” I repeat. “I won’t speak to you if you don’t tell me your name.” My intention is to not speak to them anyhow. “I’m Susie,” or “I’m George. Why do you want to know?” “If I write a letter to your organization,” I reply, “I can name you and tell them how stupid your conversation is.”
Then they start to read the spiel. If I listen, they come to the point at which they ask me now much money I will send.
“None,” I say. “Our family philosophy is to not respond to telephone solicitations, particularly for something we’ve never heard of.”
“I have to put down how much you will give,” says Susie. “None,” I say, and I hang up.
Last winter, I received a letter from a certain association, to which I had donated a few times. The letter began, “When we spoke to you two months ago, you pledged to donate $—, and we have not received your check or credit card number. The deadline we gave you has passed. So, send the check today.”
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